The Beginning
by tkari
Summary: YAOI! Ren gets beaten up by a goat.. Horo and Yoh get locked in an ice van.. Ren gets piggy-pagged by Hao.. who keeps moving on to Ren.. Sort of.. i suck at summaries. Its funny. One-Shot. HaoxRen


A/N: Hi there, this is ma first yaoi fic so please be kind, im not much of a yaoi fan… Well… Wasn't until my sister and our demented little friend got their hands on me… Now they're bent on making me one of them v.v. So, I hope you like this, it's a one-shot… I think… ah poop, just R&R please!

………………………………

The Beginning

"Want me to piggy-pag you?" Asked Hao sweetly, looking down on the young Tao.

"No!" He yelled, "this is all your fault you ass!"

"Now, now, no need to get stroppy, I didn't exactly _tell_ the goat to ram you into the fence."

"No, you just decided to singe its tail when it was facing my way!" Screamed Ren, trying to stand on his wounded legs that had been damaged by the impact.

"Come on then," said Hao, grabbing the purple-haired boy's arm, "I suppose if I cant piggy-pag you I'll just have to drag you."

Before Ren could protest they were off, Hao dragged the Chinese shaman over every rock and pebble patches he could find, until the Tao's feet and legs bled from scratches and cuts.

"Fine then!" Exclaimed Ren. Hao stopped and turned to face him, "I'll have a stupid piggy-pag!"

Hao smiled sweetly as he carefully lifted the wounded shaman onto his back.

"There," he smiled again, delighted that Ren had taken his idea, "isn't that better?"

"No," grumbled Ren, even though it _was_ better than being dragged along, "just move! The sooner we get out of here the better – and the sooner you can put me down."

"Aww!" Complained the Asakura twin in a whining tone, "but I wanted to go see the bunnies!"

"No!" Ren yelled, "were going home!"

"….But…" Hao had put on a puppy face without realising that Ren was on his back so couldn't see it.

Finally, after several crying scenes by Hao, Ren reluctantly agreed to go see the bunnies… and the monkeys… and the puppies… and the ponies… and the fish… even the chickens!

"Ok," said Hao happily, jumping up and down in excitement causing Ren to wobble slightly, "next why don't we-"

"NO!" Yelled Ren, "WERE GOING HOME!"

"Aww, one more animal, Renny-kins, I promise!"

Ren's eye started to twitch as he paled, suddenly an argument broke out.

"What did you just call me?" He demanded.

"Ren Tao."

"No you didn't! What did you say?"

"Ren Tao," Hao insisted.

"WHAT DID YOU SAY!" Ren was now screaming, causing various animals to start beating their heads on the fences of their pens and random babies to cry. Ren silenced at all of the commotion he had caused while Hao seemed to be enjoying the effects as one of the goats fell down dead from brain damage.

The two shaman continued their argument quietly until Ren couldn't be bothered to argue anymore and demanded to be taken home.

"As you wish, Renny-kins!" Hao smiled as Ren twitched once more, but decided not to start anything up again and beat the living tar out of Yoh's twin when he was fully healed.

About half way home Ren was falling asleep from exhaustion, he felt extremely tired and could feel himself drifting into nod land… that is until he fells Hao's hands slide from his legs where he held him and onto his bottom, one hand on each cheek.

Ren tensed and nearly screamed as Hao massaged both cheeks in his palm.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!" Screamed Ren, struggling to move himself from the Asakura's back.

Hao turned his head so he got a half view of Ren Tao, Hao's face was so innocent it was like he didn't seem to be doing anything wrong.

"Uh… checking for cancer…?" He asked, then decided to explain as he saw Ren's paled expression, "if you have lumps it's a sign of cancer. I'm only looking out for my Renny-kins."

Ren paled even more, then explained to Hao where he was wrong. "Its _breast_ cancer you fool!"

Ren was about to scream at Hao to release him once more when the longhaired boy grinned.

"Got any breasts?" He asked.

Ren paled even more, so much that children in the streets started to scream that a man had a ghost on his back as they ran home to their mothers.

Hao pouted as he was forced to take Ren back to the Asakura residence after he had screamed over and ovnner again until Hao was sure his ears had started to bleed.

As he pulled up outside the yard Ren leapt from Hao's back and half limped and half ran up to the door, mumbling something about where he left his Kwan-dao.

Anna, Tamao and Faust looked up as Ren fell through the door.

"…Hey Ren," Greeted Tamao, looking confused as did everyone else.

"Ren, your late! You and Hao should have been back from that stupid petting zoo hours ago! So, did you find your little cousin-" Anna stopped as she saw the state Ren was in. All of the colour had drained from his face and his legs were covered in blood, both of his shoes were missing and his clothes were partly torn from where he, the goat and the fence had collided.

"Ren, what happened?" Asked Faust, taking Ren and sitting him down on the couch.

"…Nothing." Ren panted, "Just keep that stupid Asakura nut-job away from me!" He yelled.

"Were hoooommmeee!" Called Hao in a sing-song voice that seemed to go straight through everyone in the room.

Hao paused as he looked at Ren sitting on the couch, "What's wrong Ren?" He asked, "did the goat hurt you?"

Ren just glared at the smiling Hao and silently swore to destroy him later.

"…What goat…?" Tamao asked.

"Ren got into a fight with a goat and lost." Hao informed them with a grin. Ren turned a deep shade of red in anger as laughter erupted from those around him.

"The great Tao Ren beaten by a goat!" Laughed Tamao, clutching her sides. She suddenly stopped when she saw that her laughing was annoying Anna, who had her eyes fixed on her fiancé's twin.

"Hao," she asked carefully, "do you know where Horo and my fiancée are?"

Hao looked up and blinked innocently. He remembered back to when Yoh and Horo had wanted to come with him and Ren to the petting zoo to look for Ren's cousin as instructed by Jun, but Hao wanted it to be just him and Ren so he had locked the other two shaman in an ice truck that was heading out of town.

………….

Somewhere far, far away the two shamans were desperately trying to escape… or so they _should_ be…

"Got any s-six's?" Asked Yoh, shivering so much that he looked as if he was being electrocuted.

"Go fish," came Horo's reply.

"Wonder if they've noticed were missing yet, we've been gone hours."

Horo nodded a response, "most likely, I'll bet they have search parties out by now."

Yoh sighed, "yeah, lets just hope they hurry – its damn cold in here!"

"So… got any five's?"

…………

Hao wondered how his other half and the ice shaman were doing when Anna snapped him back into reality.

"Well?" She demanded.

"Well what?" He asked, not remembering the question.

"Do you know where they are!"

"Oh… No." He smiled sweetly again, then turned his attention back to the Tao sitting on the couch looking uncomfortable.

"I think I'll take Ren up to his room, he looks tired." Hao offered.

"No you wont!" Ren refused as Faust dabbed his legs with cotton wool.

"Aww," Hao pouted for the second time that day, "hey, Faust, I have a question."

"Shoot," said Faust, not taking his eyes from his task.

"I have no gun so I can't, but I'll ask you the question instead." Hao had misunderstood, "What do I have to do to become a doctor? I mean, you're so lucky, you already are one!"

Faust was pleased that Hao was thinking about a career other than killing people so that their six year old children would grow up to hate him and become obsessed with tracking him down and killing him, "Well, it depends on what kind of doctor you want do be."

"I want to do re-search into breast cancer!" Exclaimed Hao happily. Ren paled even more and was on the verge of fainting. Everyone in the house was silent as crickets chirped in the background.

"Anna? Tamao? Want to be my first patients?" Hao grinned.

Both girls screeched in anger and sent Hao flying as they slapped him. Hao looked rather stunned and held his cheek where a stinging red mark had formed, his eyes were like puppy dog eyes as he failed to see what he had done wrong.

"YOU SICK FEAK!" Yelled both Tamao and Anna in union, then listed all of the things Hao was in their eyes, throwing insults at him left, right and centre.

Faust sighed and refused to get involved with the commotion as he bathed Ren's wounds, but by this time Ren had already fallen unconscious and only Hao seemed to notice.

"Ren!" He yelled, then, seeing that he wasn't dead stopped screaming his name, "I'll take Ren up to his room now," announced Hao, smiling uncontrollably.

Faust, Anna and Tamao just watched as Asakura Hao dragged the unconscious boy up the stairs, then flinched as they heard a sharp 'clunk!'

"Sorry!" Called Hao, "his bloods slippery! …He has a lot of it doesn't he… Poor lad… I told him not to drag himself over those rocks and pebbles!"

All three people in the room just sat down, suddenly exhausted as they heard Ren's bedroom door slam and then total silence. They wondered what the hell Hao was doing and why he hadn't come back down, finally, Anna forced Faust to go check. Faust cursed the deal he had made with Anna as the only way she got him to come up here was by threatening to cross Eliza over, he grumbled as he silently slid open the Tao's bedroom door, only to find Ren in his bed and Hao sleeping next to him – sitting on a chair and leaning on the covers mumbling something about Ren getting better soon so he can watch him search for his Kwan-dao that Hao had cleverly hid from him.

Faust smiled at the scene before him and wondered if Hao's heart was beginning to show, for maybe a certain love or friendship could cause that bitterness to melt.. maybe…just maybe, that love, was the love of a Tao.

……………………………

A/N: So, that's it, I might do a sequal called 'the love of a tao' or something like that, but it depends on the reviewers, what do you want me to do guyz? Please, click on the nice silvery button bellow and submit a review!


End file.
